This here, right now, is fine.

He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman.
Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”
In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.” — Job 2:10

I was sitting there, and I was thinking… I wanted to go somewhere far away, some place I don’t know, with people who speak a different dialect. I wanted to look for something. I booked a promo flight almost a year ago, and after some time, I was pretty sure I wasn’t going. I would be alone and I wouldn’t know what to do when I’m already there and I’d want to go home, I will have to wait for my flight back home. One week.

But for some reason, I told myself I had to go. Not because of other people, but because I wanted to do it for myself. I wanted to see if I can do it, if I can actually live alone and be alone for a few days. And so I went to Cebu. This was last month.

Lately, it always feels like I’m looking for something more than what is happening right now. It’s crazy, but I guess it happens to people all the time. We always wait to be happy, we always think that tomorrow will bring us even more happiness than we have right now.

I was in Cebu for a week, no biggie, it was just less than an hour of a plane ride away. So basically, it should have been the easiest. I was with friends half of the time, and the rest, I had to be okay with being by myself. And then I realized… What the hell am I waiting for? What am I looking for?

All this time, we wait for something to happen to us. A miracle, some sort of story that we think has been written in the stars for us, destiny, fate, all those things. We sit there, and we wait. Because we think we’re not happy enough. Because we think that there are things out there that will make us feel so much better than now, even happier than we already are.

But the thing is… Why can’t we be happy with what we have right now? Why can’t we stop wishing for that day to come when all we have is bliss? In Cebu, I got lost, and I sat there, and I was extremely grateful. I was thanking the Universe for bringing me there, for making me get lost, for having me find my way back again.

The problem with society these days is that our minds have been trained to focus on succeeding, on wealth. We need to be successful in the careers we choose. We need to be on top of everyone else. We need to be way better than other people. The world has instilled in us some sort of a mindset wherein we try to always strive for a higher standard, to be much more superior in so many ways.

We think there is always something that is coming, we wait and we wait, and we don’t notice that our time is running, life is fleeting.

On my way back, I sat on the plane and I was grateful. For the turbulence. For the rain. For the fact that the woman beside me kept staring at me during the whole flight. For my cough. For everything. I met so many people, nice and rude, I was tired and I have not slept a wink for two days. My bag was heavy and nobody was there to listen to me. Everyone was busy with their lives. On the bus, I had to sit on the floor (of the bus) for almost two hours. And I was grateful for everything.

Because we cannot bring these moments back. These moments when we feel so low, we feel so lost. The words we say, the things we do, we cannot reverse any of them. The only thing we can do is enjoy them, savor them, even when the moment is difficult. Even if it’s not something we want to happen.

We can choose to be happy now or wait even longer. Our time here is short. We have to be grateful for even the things we are not comfortable with, just because we cannot do anything about it or change the fact that it already is happening. You can be lost now and still enjoy the journey.

What are you up to now and what are you grateful for?

 

 

Author: Mary Elizabeth Francisco

A huge fan of chocolate chip cookies. Hypertensive. Loves ice cream and taking pictures of the sky. Believes that coffee makes the world a better place. Just a girl, not a hero. Not yet, that is.