I have been writing this piece for quite some time now, and it took me a while before deciding to share it with the world: it’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be mad at yourself, at people, at the Universe. It’s okay, you’re okay, that’s perfectly normal.
You know, there will be some people who will HATE you.
There, I said it.
I don’t like using that word, but I said it, people will hate you, and you will have to deal with it. Because really, how can you please everyone? Even Gigi Hadid, who has perfect hair and perfect teeth and perfect boobs and a perfect body and, okay, she seems pretty nice, gets a lot of hate from people all over the world, she doesn’t even know these people, and these people do not even know her personally, yet they hate her. So how do you think people will take you?
You. You went to a good school, a university you loved so dearly. You got one of the best degrees that this University offers. But you ended up pursuing a different path. You have always loved writing when you were in Elementary School. You wrote poems for your crushes. You wrote school paper articles for every school you went to. You loved reading in front of your class. You felt ecstatic when you learned that you’d be a Practicing Clinical Instructor when you get to your fourth year in college and you get to teach younger students. You kept on writing no matter how weird it felt that you were sharing your crap with the world. You wrote and you thought that you can do it as your job, like, as an adult. Why would you do that to yourself, Kid?
You. You started out with curly hair. Like, downright curly hair, and you hated it. You hated it when you were five. You hated it when you were ten. You hated it when you were sixteen. And you hated it when you were twenty. And now that you’re twenty-six, you began falling in love with it. But no, you don’t give enough time to even just brush your hair. Your hair is everywhere. Why are you still wondering why they hate you, Kid?
You. You laugh at everything. You cry at everything. You talk to everyone, even those you do not know, even those who frown at you or those who show you that they think it’s really weird that a girl is this bubbly and this happy. You say hello to people in the streets, and you laugh with those who are not laughing with you, but at you. You cry with those who are unfortunate, you cry for those you cannot do anything about, you cry with people who are not even asking for your sympathy. How can you not expect some people to dislike you, Kid?
You. You want too much of everything. You want to teach. You want to volunteer here and there. You want to travel the world. You want to be in so many different places all at once. You want to help your country, but you see people in other countries and you want to just board a plane and go help. You want to do so many things. And then, you’d get confused of which to do first. And then, you’d feel old. And then, you’d feel tired. Now you’re asking me why people get confused about you when you, yourself, are confused, Kid?
You. You get hate from people who do not even know you personally and you feel bad about it. You’d get angry at first, but you know you’re not mad, you just feel really bad about it. And then you think about it for a very long time, longer than you usually think about things. You pray about it so hard that you lose track of all the time you’ve spent thinking about these people who HATE you. You thought of writing about them, but you ended up writing about someone you know so well, yourself. So now what?
See, this is normal. In your life, you will meet so many people, some will just leave, some will stay, and most will teach you something you’d be able to use along the way. Of course, some of the lessons you will learn will not be learned the way you’re used to learning things: from a book, in a classroom, in a preaching of some sort. No, some will be taught to you in many different ways. You will be slapped in the face with the truth, and this is something you will be able to accept eventually, as you get older. And then, you will learn to accept people, no matter how hard they are on you, no matter how much hatred they show you, and no matter how little you feel just by their existence. Sure, you will get angry. It’s okay to be angry, that’s healthy, actually. But when you are aware that you have accepted the totality of life and how you go about with it, you will be able to drop the anger and move along.
You are mad because they are attacking you, they are telling people lies about you, they are belittling you because of how you look or because of what you do, they want to make you feel inferior, they want you to hate yourself as much as they hate you. Many people will do this to you along the way. And you will feel so close to just responding with hatred:
YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW GOOD ENGLISH AND YOU ARE MESSAGING ME THINGS I CANNOT EVEN COMPREHEND.
IT’S “YOU’RE” NOT “YOUR”. IT’S “THEIRS” NOT “THERES”. STOP SAYING THAT, IT’S NOT CORRECT GRAMMAR!!!!
NO, YOU SHUT UP.
YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE AND LEARN PROPER GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION MARK USAGE.
DAMMIT IT’S “YOU’RE”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!! ARE!!!!! YOU’RE!!!!!!
AT LEAST, I AM HAPPY WITH WHAT I DO, AND I KNOW YOU’RE NOT, BECAUSE YOU’RE HERE WASTING YOUR TIME AND ENERGY SENDING ME STUPID UNGRAMMATICAL MESSAGES.
NEXT TIME YOU TRY MESSAGING ME AGAIN, PLEASE PROOFREAD THEM SO THAT I’D UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY.
NO, YOU SHUT UP.
I CAN TEACH YOU ENGLISH FOR FREE, DAMMIT.
But you don’t respond with hatred. Instead, you pray. And you breathe. You worry A LOT, but at least you know that being angry will not lead to anything good. You get mad, but you are able to hold that anger in, and respond positively.
You. You try so hard to be a good person. All your life, the only thing you have ever wanted was to be genuinely happy. And you know that being kind to the world is the only way you can find this kind of happiness. But people are different from each other. You are different from him, different from her, and from them. And this is why you have to be the one who gives and shares and forgives.
Give love when love is nowhere to be seen. Share kindness when they are being mean. Forgive when forgiveness seems impossible. Stay calm when everything is turning into chaos. Be brave when you feel like there’s nobody there to hold your hand. Be compassionate even when the hatred they show you is too much. Be grateful even for the people who do you wrong. Pray for them. Listen to them. Be strong.
It’s okay, be angry for a while. Hurt for a while. Learn. Pray. And then you can let it go.
Author: Mary Elizabeth Francisco
A huge fan of chocolate chip cookies. Hypertensive. Loves ice cream and taking pictures of the sky. Believes that coffee makes the world a better place. Just a girl, not a hero. Not yet, that is.