Two things were on my mind while I was still on the floor:
1. Did I hit my face?
2. Am I dying?
When I was younger, I was mentally preparing myself for this: everything I need to remember when I do black out or faint somewhere in the University. I had to look cute, first of all. And I was not going to allow myself to cry. Why in the world are you going to cry when you’re on the ground, and everyone’s just staring at you? No way.
But thankfully, I have never fainted in my life. Not until recently when I was alone, except for the cat. I was okay that day, but I had so many things going on in my mind. And suddenly, I just blacked out, and fell on the floor, face first. There were so many thoughts in my head at that time, and all I wanted to do was to “save” myself.
How are you going to save yourself when you’re alone in a room with a cat, and you collapse, with nobody there to help you? You can’t. Because first of all, you wouldn’t know what was happening. I didn’t know what was happening. I just hit the ground, and I felt that I was in pain everywhere. I thought I was having a heart attack, for crying out loud.
I opened my eyes and the cat was on top of my head, trying to wake me up (or probably wanting to do CPR), panicking. The initial reaction was to shoo the cat away, but I gave up and let her “pretend revive” me. It’s always nice to know that somebody (even a cat) wants you alive.
It was my Hypertension acting up. But I was alright. I got a skinned knee and a few cuts, but I was fine.
And did I cry? I did, big time.
I learned a couple of things from it though: There are some things you are never in control of. That sucks, sometimes, but that’s how life is, and we have to learn how to deal with it. God will never give you anything you will not be able to endure, because, more than anything or anyone in the universe, He knows you and He loves you.
It wasn’t a big thing, the collapse, really. It was scary, yes. But there are far worse things that happen to millions of people everyday. Which means, we should be grateful for whatever we have and whatever it is that’s happening in our lives today, right here and now. I know we worry about so many things in life. There are so many stuff we want to have, and so many tasks we want to finish. Sometimes, we still hurt about some things, and we don’t even know why. But we deserve the feeling of being at ease. Let it all go. Sure, it could be scary. But it’s good to trust. It’s good to stop worrying and to stop wanting for things to be this way or that way. Everything will fall into place soon. Relax, easy! Wink wink~