(Please see author’s note.)
This article was published first on Thought Catalog.
1. You will only be loved when it’s easy to love you. You need to accept this now, because it is inevitable that some people will only be there for you when they feel like you are lovable enough or when it’s easy to actually be there for you. Cue your annoying self, they’ll be gone in no time. Sorry, Kid.
2. Some people will never understand your anxiety. Because, in the first place, they do not really have to understand it. It’s your anxiety to understand anyways, not theirs, so why should they even try? Wake up, get up, you’re in this alone.
3. Some people will judge you. Why do you have to be so annoying? Why does everything need to bother you? Why do you need to worry about the little things? It will never completely be “fixed”, so you must man (or woman) up and face the fact that some people are judgmental beings who will have so many things to say about you, not necessarily in your face, maybe just inside their heads. Still, judged.
4. Some people will come back to you only when they need something from you. Some will think that you are nice only when you are able to help them out. You can do a hundred good things now, make one mistake, and you’re a bad person. So, face it. You’re probably a bad person.
5. You will need to pretend to be okay most of the time. Because how can you face the world feeling like crap? Get up and pretend that everything is okay. Like they say, you should just fake it until you make it. And when you do make it, fake it some more.
6. You cannot depend your happiness on anyone. Because people will get tired of you, Kid. Not today, but they will, eventually. Start accepting that you cannot depend your happiness on anyone or anything, because people will come and go, and you do not have control over this, so let go.
7. You need to find yourself, by yourself. If you are looking to find yourself, please do it alone. Find yourself alone, stop posting it on Facebook so people will see that you are on a self-discovery adventure or some crap like that. Find yourself, by yourself, without dragging people into looking with you.
8. Some people will never see the good in you. Sure, go ahead and do charity work for several years. Make one mistake, and all of those things you have done in your life, whatever those may be, will be far from forgotten. Yes, some people will definitely think that you’re a bad person, no matter what you do. Take that all in as early as now.
9. Some people will never believe in what you can do. You probably have so many dreams in life that you want to achieve. Maybe you’re working on it, maybe you’re not. But you know, some people will never believe in what you can do, so you should just try to reach your goals as quietly as possible, before they even get to you and discourage you. Better safe than wounded.
10. The world will never stop for you. I’ll stop the world and melt with you? Nope-ity nope nope nope. The world will never stop for you, and people will definitely not melt with you, so go melt by yourself, and stop pretending that the world will pause for you just because you don’t feel like getting up or doing anything now. Life goes on with or without you, and it will go on as long as it can go on, so you better just accept the fact that it’s never going to be any easier than it is. It will be worth it in the end, but easier? Nope.
I was inspired by Thought Catalog to write in all honesty. When I started writing on Thought Catalog, I was concerned about how people would feel whilst they read my articles. Thus, I wouldn’t really go beyond what I know people can take. So I take my time and I was careful with how the articles would be received. As time passed by, I learned that I cannot really please everyone around me. I mean, sure, they might seem to like you when you’re there, but it’s not guaranteed that you will be liked and loved at the end of the day, especially when you’re not around. I wrote happy articles, inspiring ones that I hoped people would like. But at the end of the day, there were still some who would see mistakes in everything that I do.
And so, I have come to terms with it: people are just really hard to please, and we are not obliged to please them anyway. As long as we do not hurt them intentionally, we do not do wrong things to the world, then we’ll be fine. We do not need to depend our happiness on people, we do not need that heaviness in our lives. Instead, we become all the happiness we’d ever need, and we let go of the fact that life doesn’t revolve around trying to fix other people or trying to do things for them, even if it’s not working for us anymore. We just need to find balance in everything we do, and carry on doing the right things, not for people to like us, but to bring good to the world.